I apologize if you find this offensive. Actually, what am I saying? I really could care less if you find this offensive. Mainly because IF you find this offensive it probably means that you’re one of the people I’m talking about, in which case, I despise you and all who are like you.
People who have a credit card for EVERY establishment known to man.
How much credit do you think you need? You can use a normal credit card just about everywhere, so why do you think you need a store specific credit card? Your normal VISA just isn’t cutting it? You go to Victoria’s Secret SO much that you need a special pink credit card? Chances are that if you have to use a Victoria’s Secret credit card, you shouldn’t be buying anything anyway. So put the triple push-up miraculous bra down, step away from the counter and be your normal flat-chested self until you can afford to pay for your “upgrade”.
What’s worse than the clothing store credit cards? Credit cards for fast food restaurants. Really people? You eat a Big Mac so often that you need a McDonalds credit card? Even if you don’t have cash on you, (which many of us seldom do these days) then pull out your good old MasterCard and run it for the $5 it costs for your cheeseburger. I'm standing in line behind you and I have to add an additional 10 minutes to my purchase time because YOU have to sift through the 18 credit cards in your wallet before finding the little red one with the golden arches.
What irritates me even more is when I’m trying to check out, and the sales person is asking me 800 different questions. I saw the sign posted right above the t-shirt that I picked out that clearly stated buy one get one half off. If I wanted another t-shirt, it would be on the counter right about now. I understand that if I spend $5 more I can get a card for $10 off my next purchase. The banner at the front of the store as I walked in already informed me. Chances are, since I’m an able-bodied person who clearly knows at least the basic principles of addition and subtraction I understand that the t-shirt that I bought is not going to add up to the $30 I have to spend to accomplish this. I don’t need you to tell me about it again. I don’t want to hear your 10 minute spiel about a rewards system and credit card that I don’t want or need. I just want you to bag up my items, tell me the price and accept my payment. I don’t want to fill out 18 different forms and give you my home phone number and email address just so you can sell it to your partner companies and they can barrage me with calls and emails about products that I could care less about. The once a month 10% discount that HAS to be used on a specific day by a certain time is not worth the effort I have to put into sifting through my inbox just to find the emails from people that I actually want to hear from.
So no, Brittni with an “i”, I don’t want to be enrolled in your rewards system. Furthermore, I don’t give one gram of fuck that I could be saving 5% off of my purchase today by signing up for your ridiculous credit card. You’ve just wasted 5% of my life by asking me all of these stupid questions!!
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