I really hate fast food menus that have the calorie counts right beside the meal. Listen, if I was WORRIED about how unhealthy the Large Triple-Baconator with extra cheese I just ordered was I wouldn’t be at this artery-clogging gift from God in the first place!! Not only have you turned my favorite guilty pleasure into a counterfeit “health conscious” brick to the average teenage girl's self esteem, you’ve also jumbled up my menu so badly I have to look twice to see if my fatty goodness is eleven dollars and twenty-seven cents, or if it just has 1127 calories. You give so many excuses: It’s so the health conscious parents will have something to eat while their children get to eat the food that they love, or the healthy friend who gets dragged into the fast food chain.
A. If the parent is that worried about the calorie count of their own food, more often than not, they’re not going to let their piglet children slurp down three cheeseburgers and a milkshake either.
B. If your friends know you’re a health freak and DRAG you into an establishment that they’re well aware in no other world you would ever find yourself in, you can’t really call them friends. If you believe in living a healthy lifestyle, your friends aren’t going to blatantly mock it.
Don’t even get me started on the “Weight-Observers” approved section of my fast food menu. You know the portion that’s usually a light green or peach color in stark contrast to the rest of the menu that consists of chicken (which you can then make less healthy by having it crispy), salad poured out of a bag and a wrap or two, that (by the time you put all of that ranch dressing on it) is just as high in calories as everything else.
I understand wanting to be healthy. I understand the fact that you may not want to eat a 900 calorie burger for every meal. It’s called WILLPOWER. Get some! You should love who you are. If you’re THAT vainly worried about your weight, maybe you should try fasting….ad infinitum.
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