So I’m driving down the freeway today and a minivan (without using his blinker) cuts me off and continues into the exit lane. Since I’m having a great day thus far, it only mildly irritates me. I continue to drive, when the same minivan, at the end of the exit lane, decides he doesn’t want to actually take that exit, and crosses the solid white line, the exit median, (my term for the V-shaped patch of pavement at the end of exits) and the other solid white line, and swings out back in front of me, again not using his blinker light. He gets back into the fast lane. At this point I’m more than slightly irritated with him, but I continue to drive anyway, RE-setting my cruise control from when I had to slam on my breaks the second time he cut me off.
About three cars up, Mr. Minivan decides the fast lane isn’t moving fast enough for him and starts to weave in and out of traffic (which actually, as traffic karma would have it, makes him lose his place and fall right back beside me). Apparently he’s more than mildly irritated that the cars around him aren’t going 90 mph down the freeway, because he’s paying more attention to trying to get around said cars than he is to the fact that his ACTUAL exit is coming up. Lucky for me (sarcasm) his exit is also the one that I happen to be taking. So I slide into the exit lane and continue on.
Realizing that he’s missing his exit, he AGAIN cuts across the exit median and instead of slowing down and falling in behind me, tries to speed up and cut me off, AGAIN without his blinker. I’m beyond annoyed at this point, because there’s no way he can actually get in front of my without me pushing my brake pedal to the floor. But does he slow down? Of course not, he tries to side-swipe me and “push” me onto the shoulder. So I gun it. Sorry minivan, my Challenger will outrun you any day of the week. Since I’m now in a particularly nasty mood, I slow down to the 40 mph exit speed limit.
Mr. Minivan is about two feet from the back of my car. I’m about ready to slam on my brakes (I would never actually do something like that) when I see something odd in my rear view mirror. There is a car seat in the front seat of his minivan. Yes kids, that’s right, the front seat, where babies are NOT supposed to go because of, oh I don’t know the chance of the air bag decapitating them. We reach the bottom of the exit and before I can exit, he AGAIN crosses the solid white line and cuts me off (from behind) as he drives away at speeds in excess of 90 mph with his infant in the front seat, once again, not using his blinker as he weaves in and out of traffic. Are you starting to see a trend here?
I will let you get away with just about anything, as long as you use your blinker light. If you just have the decency to just give a simple flick of the wrist (it takes less than a second) I will slow down and let you over, every time. If you don’t use your blinker light, I don’t know what you want. I am NOT a mind reader people. My car is not Ms. Cleo. I can’t broadcast your stupid thoughts through my AM radio. Slowing down and doing the “hover technique” is NOT signaling me that you want over; it’s just pissing me off.
Blinker lights and tailgating, two of my biggest pet peeves, and Mr. Minivan has, in 10 minutes, already taken my absolutely wonderful mood and turned me into a street banshee, muttering words under my breath that are only suitable for mature audiences. When you don’t use your blinker and attempt to cut me off, and I DON’T slam on my brakes to let you in front of me, and instead speed up to avoid you smashing into the side of me, you get angry with me and tailgate me. What I really want to do at this point is get in front of you and immediately slam on my brakes. Then, when you’re forced to get out of the car and exchange insurance information with me because you’re a giant, impatient moron, I want to take your head and smash out BOTH of your blinker lights with your face, because I should at least be getting SOME sort of value out of them.
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